We Made It

Today was my first shower since surgery. Mama put the boot on because Dr. Brosky said to use it when doing a lot of pressure walking.

I haven’t put weight on my foot since surgery, so it felt weird. I was only able to take tiny steps to get to the shower. Mama was holding me with each step.

As soon as I sat down I got a sharp pain in the back of my head. Mama shaved my legs.

It felt incredibly weird to be in the shower. It was almost like an out-of-body experience. I held on to my shower seat. I can’t explain it. I felt like I had to hold on.

“Calm down. Take some deep breaths,” Mama said. I put my hand on the shower to steady myself. "It just feels SO weird sitting in here!"

Then it was time to wash my hair. I was prepared for my toe to hurt, but what happened next I was NOT expecting. The muscles in my legs cramped violently.

There was no way I could wash my hair. Mama had to help me.

As she washed my hair, I was crying. As the muscles made it clear they weren’t going to relax, I went from crying to wailing.

“You know the calmer you stay, the better it is for you,” Mama said.

“I know. It just hurts SO bad!”

Finally, I told Mama to bring me a Flexeril pill, which is a muscle relaxer I take to help spasms.

She tried to give it to me, but I couldn’t reach for it. She put the pill in my mouth and the drink to my lips so I could get it down.

After a while, Mama said, “Do you think you could wash your body to get your mind off things?”

“I’ll try,” I mumbled through the pain.

I got as far as holding the bottle before my left leg went into a spasm again.

“My leg! My leg!”

I knew I needed to stay calm, but my body didn’t want to cooperate. In a moment of clarity, I said, “I thank you these muscle spasms stop in the name of Jesus!” Mama was praying, too.

I could feel my body relax. Sweet, sweet relief.

Mama said, “Has it relaxed?”

Yes.

“I felt it,” she said.

Finally, we got my hair washed. But my legs were still somewhat in spasm.

Mama said, “I’m going to leave you for a while, so you can get calmed down before you try to get up.

I tried to put my left leg up on the ledge. It stuck straight out. “You crazy leg!” I yelled in frustration as I got it to bend back.

I said, “Your grace is sufficient. God, I can’t do this without you. I know you are here with me, but I have got to have your help to get up.

Scriptures started flowing out of me, “If God is for me, who can be against me? With God on my side, I cannot fail.”

My body relaxed as the pain faded away.

The ironic thing is my toe – the thing that was operated on – NEVER hurt during my shower.

I know what happened. For months, my legs have cramped and went into spasm because of my toe. Even though my toe is fixed, my body hasn’t gotten the memo. It is still reacting the same way it did before the surgery.

This post doesn’t scratch the surface of what I felt. You had to be there, and even then, you couldn’t feel what I felt. Usually when I have a muscle spasm, I sit up on the side of the bed or get up to relieve it, but today I was stuck. I couldn’t go anywhere. I had to work through it, as uncomfortable as it was.

I don’t know what people do without God because without Him, I could never make it. God never said things would be easy, but He did say He would help me through it.

Someone who Cares

I hear the longing in your voice

Wishing for former days.

Those days when you were agile, quick, and giving.

Those times when you knew you made a difference.

A little smile or a hug made all of your worries fade away.

You didn't think about the long hours,

Or the toll your work took on your body.

You did it because you care.

You did it because you knew you could help make people better.

Now, things have changed.

You are lonely.

No longer able to move as quick.

You seemed to have lost your sense of purpose,

Your mind is filled with thoughts of what was,

Unable to grasp what is.

I hate this unwelcome visitor has robbed you of your health,

But I will always be here

I will always care.

Though we might be separated by distance

We are a kindred spirit.

You and I keep the light burning bright for each other

When I was down, you gave me hope.

It's my turn to do the same for you.
You didn't cease to matter the day you could no longer practice medicine.

You became my friend, my supporter, a shoulder to lean on.
I will be a listening ear.
I am someone who cares.

You are not alone.
Think of me when the time drags on.

Think of me when you are tired.
Think of me in the silence.
You are irreplaceable.

Miracles Come in More Ways than One

I am catching up with details about my surgery, and don't want to forget this one. On July 24th, I went back to Dr. Brosky for my first follow-up since my surgery on July 18th. 

My doctor said, "Everything looks great." He went on to explain that as soon as he snapped the post tibial tendon, my foot straightened up. No one but God, my mom, myself, and my doctor knew just how bad the contracture in my foot was. It was getting worse with every visit, and I was in so much pain that I couldn't do much except stay in the bed because my knees would swell after a short car ride. My foot turned inwards so much that walking was impossible.

My doctor asked for prayers the night before the surgery, and I said, "We always do." What I didn't know was just how bad my foot was. Today, he told us, "If the tendon had not released when I snapped it, you would have been looking at bone surgery. That means the bone wouldn't move, and your foot would be like a peg."

He continued, saying, "But someone was looking out for us up there." Yes, yes He was! I cannot tell you how overjoyed I am at today's news! Although I have a ways to go before I fully recover, this was just what I needed to hear. I expected a good report, but this was a GREAT report. Only God could have done this. Humans can only do so much. Humans only know so much. Then, God shows up and shows out! 

Dr. Brosky also said, "I know you are going to walk, and I look forward to the day when you send me a video of you walking." Through tears, I said, "Me too." If you are going through a rough time full of uncertainties, hang in there! I have been through so many setbacks and struggles that only God has kept me. Only God has given me the strength and determination to keep pressing forward. Trust me when I say I have bad days and cry out of frustration and pain. I get frustrated that things aren't moving as fast as I'd like them to. Only God knows.

Before I end this note, I want to say something to Dr. Brosky. I know doctors are trained to leave their emotions at the door, but I just have to say this. After my most favorite doctor in the world retired in his 80s, after seeing me since I was eleven years old, and giving me the honor of being his last operation, I was heartbroken. I even told Mama, "I don't think I will ever find another doctor like Dr. Griffin." She said, "Don't worry. There are others like him."  

After many bad ones, a period of no insurance, and doctors who weren't capable of handling all of my issues, I was referred to Dr. Thomas Brosky. I just didn't know what a blessing that would be.  

Dr. Brosky, thank you for never backing down from a challenge. Thank you for your unwavering support. Thank you for seeing me as more than a chart number or paycheck. Thank you for your compassion. I thought that was long gone from the medical community, but you are one of the good ones. Thank you for believing in me and seeing me whole again. Instead of dreading appointments, a smile creeps across my face every time I have to come see you, even though you are an hour away. 

Also, thank you to all of my faithful friends and family members near and far who pray for me. I am proof that prayer changes things!

Achilles and Post Tibial Tendon Lengthening Surgery

My nephews and I

Just have to share this: My sister-in-law, Brittany, told my mom that my three-year-old nephew, Mason, asked the people at Bible school to "pray for Aun-ie". He knows I have had surgery, but I haven't said anything to him about praying for me.

The next night, he asked to pray for my mom, who we call Gram.

I had surgery on my right foot to lengthen the right Achilles tendon and post tibial tendon on July 18th. I just haven't felt like writing, mostly sleeping. No one but my mom knows how hard these past few days have been.  My right foot had gotten so bad that it turned all the way over anytime I tried to get up, including getting in the car. During the last month, both knees would swell up after a short car ride If you are new here, you can read about the surgery and recovery of my left foot here, here, here, and here.

This surgery didn't fuse any bones, so this recovery hasn't been as intense as far as post-surgical pain goes. But, the transferring has been much, much harder. After my last surgery, I could rely on my right foot to bear weight while I transferred. With this one, I can't bear any weight on the right side because it has to heal. I could bear weight on my left side, but that is pretty much impossible because it is not as strong as it needs to be. So, I am using my arms and upper body A LOT. Talk about sore. I feel like a monkey in a jungle. The first few nights of constantly having to get up to go the bathroom were brutal for my mom and I. I also told her I felt like the tin man with no oil because my shoulders, fingers, and back were popping.

Some other funny things that have happened:
On Saturday night, I had to go to the bathroom. The conversation went like this:

Mason: I got her arm. I'm gonna help her up.
Gram: Okay, c'mon
Me: I think you need to help Gram hold my leg up.
Mason: I got du arm. Pulls and says, "C'mon, girl! Ugh!" Pulls really hard
Me: (laughing) Go help Gram hold my leg.
Gram: Yeah, Auntie has to have her arm to get up
Mason comes to hold my leg up
Mason: Okay, one, two, three! He's heard Gram say this to me.

I had a little trouble getting up.
So, Mason encouraged me saying, C'mon, girl!

Then, I got in the wheelchair, ready to go to my bedside commode,
Mason to Gram: Hold my choc choc(this is what he calls chocolate milk)
Mason to me: I will push you
Me: Okay!
Mason: Dere (There) du (you) doe!
Me: Thank you, darlin'!

Hope all of you are doing well. This Georgia heat is something else!

AFO Leg Brace Woes

Well, as some of you know who follow me on Facebook, I was going to try and wear the brace for my foot an hour a day to hopefully minimize bruising and redness. Let's just say that didn't work out too well. I've been wearing it to walk once a week. This is much less than I wanted, but it's all I can handle. 

My feet have always been very sensitive, and wearing braces just intensifies that problem. It's just not designed to bend with my ankle as my others have been, so it feels like I'm lugging around a cast. So, in order to avoid weekly trips to Gainesville that are about an hour and a half each way, I've just been wearing it once a week.

Recovery from my foot surgery is going well. I bought some flat Crocs as my doctor suggested, but still can't wear them due to the swelling. I will get there! It's just taking time. 

Recently, my left foot (the one I had surgery on) has been hurting in the arch and heel. It even started doing it while wearing tennis shoes. On Saturday and Sunday, I had to take my shoe off to get relief. It was red, and it shouldn't have been. The only thing that could have caused it is my new heel lift that I got in January. I wanted my orthotist to make softer one. When my mom looked at it closely, she realized it's not completely flat on one side, and it's crooked. This would make anyone's foot hurt! So, after a day or so, I'm going to dig out my old heel lift and use it again. You definitely live and learn with these things. I just assumed my orthotist knew what he was doing. I've been proved wrong twice. 

Thankful I see my surgeon on March 24th!

Parents, Beware of Urgent Care Centers

On Sunday night, February 2, 2014, my two- year-old nephew was taken to an Urgent Care in a different town because the local office was closed. His eye was somewhat swelled because he had hit it the night before. He was crying throughout the day because his ear hurt. The Nurse Practitioner did not give him anything for his eye. She just told my sister-in-law to put an ice pack on it and to call back the next day if he wasn’t any better. She said he had strep throat, but did not test him for it. She said by the time she tested him there wouldn’t be anything left. She said, “That’s what were going to treat him for.”

Well, my sister-law made an appointment with his pediatrician in Athens and they were appalled the nurse practitioner didn’t give him anything for his eye. He had to have two shots because they don’t want him to have any damage behind his eye. This could have been treated Sunday night. I would urge anyone who has a toddler to NEVER take your child to an Urgent Care Center! We live 50 miles from his pediatrician and were trying to get him better on the weekend, but instead they did nothing.

I do not recommend Urgent Care offices for children. They might be good for adults, but we have wasted two trips there and won’t be back. If we need anything on the weekends, we will be going to Athens Regional Emergency Room.

This isn’t my only complaint. A few weeks ago, we took my other nephew to Urgent Care and the same Nurse Practitioner suggested putting Crisco in his hair to treat flakes. He was there about a cough. Her remark was, “It worked for my two kids.” My sister-in-law didn’t ask her anything about his hair. Then, she didn’t even take his temperature until the end of the appointment, which required getting him out of the car seat because she had forgotten. The time saved in going to Urgent Care is nothing compared to possibly saving a life. Whatever happened to people entering the medical field because they genuinely care about patients, young and old?

This kind of behavior is unacceptable, and I felt compelled to say something so this doesn’t happen to another child.


Sincerely,
The Sanders family (including immediate and extended family)

No High Heels, Please!

Several weeks ago, my podiatrist and surgeon agreed that I needed to get a brace (commonly referred to in the medical world as an AFO) to protect my right foot from fractures while I am waiting to have my next surgery. Yes, there will be surgery on my right foot in a few months. I'm not sure when. So, right before Christmas, we went to pick up the brace. It is pictured below. 

My left leg is tad shorter than the right, so I have always worn a heel lift in my left shoe. Due to some misunderstanding, a lift was made and attached to the brace for my right foot. I can think of no other way to describe it other than wearing a high heel. I am about 5'9  in height, and I felt REALLY jacked up, literally! I stood for just a few seconds in the office, and knew there was absolutely no way I could wear this brace for walking at home.

I only wore it for two hours, which was the length of the car ride home to prove my point to the orthotics people that I have very sensitive feet and am prone to bruising and lots of redness. These pictures attest to that. The unfortunate part is the brace also REALLY affected my hips. The right side ached for days afterward. So, I go back to the orthotics place on Friday to make an adjustment so the lift will be completely removed from the brace. And, just maybe, I can progress with walking a little more before my next surgery. The journey of adjusting to AFO's begins again...

Memories Mixed with Drama

Well, lots of things have happened since my last post!

• I had a new nephew who came into the world November 14, 2013 weighing a whopping nine pounds with a head FULL of black hair! He seriously looks like a little baby doll.

• I turned 24! Here are a few memories from that night:

When Eli and I blew out the candles on the cookie cake, Mason said, "Turn it back on!" He hasn't understood that candles are lit, but it was so cute.

Before we ate, Mason went from 0 to 60 when his best friend and cousin, Keller, came in our Memaw's house. He ran down the hallway and back, and I would try to catch him. If I did, I said, "I got you!" and he would excitedly run back to do it all over again. If I missed him, he said, "I got me!" and touched his back with those pudgy little toddler fingers.

Later, he found a quarter underneath the table. "I found mondey(money)! My mom asked him what he was going to buy with it, and without a moment's hesitation, he said, "An airplane!" I said, "Good, Aun-ie will need an airplane for you to take her lots of places!"

Mom always includes some little gift in with our present. This year it was sparkling apple cider. My brother was showing Mason his when he said, "I want to drank-ed it. Let me drank-ed it!" We got him a straw, and he sat on the couch like a big boy drinking his cider. My newest little nephew slept throughout the birthday dinner, but he is as sweet as ever!

To end the night, I wanted a hug from Mason. Using reverse psychology, Mom always says, "Don't you give Aun-ie a bear hug!"(Because everyone knows if you want a kid to do something, they won't because at two-and-a-half, it's all about asserting their independence  ) After a few seconds, he wraps those little arms around me and gives me the biggest hug EVER! For a moment, it seems as if time stands still as I hug him right back, savoring the moment that he has given me pure, unconditional love. I can honestly say my heart can't possibly be any fuller than it is right now or it might explode! Look around you, friends, and learn to appreciate the simple things. This birthday was priceless in SO many ways!

• I got my boot off and was cleared by my doctor to start putting weight on my foot! I was planning on posting a picture of my scar because it looks AWESOME! It doesn't even look like a scar. I am beyond pleased. But, much to my dismay, after coming home tonight from a short trip, I discovered blood on my foot. I said, "Mama, can you please come in here?" All I could see was a sore, and it hurt. When Mama came in her, she discovered my crocs, which are very roomy and just slip on, had made blister and the blister had burst! I was so mad I wanted to cry! 

My next post will be about a new brace that I got, this post is longer than I expected. Stay tuned for that drama!

Three Weeks Post-Op

Today I am three weeks post-op. I am honestly happy that I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday so I can get out of the house. I tried to go to church on Sunday night, making sure to elevate my leg in the car and in the service. It was hard to restrain myself during the worship. My wheelchair was rocking - literally. Even though the brakes were on. I was so happy to be back for a service! I had to say to myself, "Madison, you have GOT to calm down." So, clapping in a restrained manner would have to suffice for the evening. Everything went well until about 5:30 a.m. My left leg was throbbing and the medication was taken to no avail. I woke my mom up and iced it for a little over forty minutes.

Finally, sweet relief. But, this was coupled with frustration and disappointment that I wasn't quite ready to be doing much...even if that something was just a little something in the grand scheme of things. Couple these feelings with an overdose of Food Network's "Cupcake Wars" and TLC's "Four Weddings,""Say Yes to the Dress," and the bittersweet wrap-up of "What Not to Wear", and I have been a little stir crazy in the house. My hips have been kind of hurting me at night, and I know why now. Transferring from the bed to the wheelchair at least five times a day and more to the lift chair if my nephew is visiting is tiring. 

But, every time I sit in my lift chair in the living room, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all of the people who played a part in helping me get that. It really has helped me during this recovery. I love each and everyone of you for your small acts of kindness and words of encouragement.

I will get through this. Three weeks have passed. I know some people who have it tremendously worse than me. Deaths, sickness, and kidnaps, and injustices abound. It is then that I sit here typing on my laptop writing, being, living, recovering. Some don't get that chance, and for that I am truly grateful. Every day I get a little bit stronger, really. That's not just a catchy saying. 

I know I will look back on this post and laugh eventually. :) 

Raw Footage

It's been two weeks since my surgery, and I'm doing good. My doctor is pleased so I am very happy that things are healing well and there are no signs of infection. I have four more weeks of no weight bearing on my left foot. 

I thought I would share some pictures my mom took on my doctor's appointment on Wednesday. WARNING: If you have a squeamish stomach, you will probably want to stop reading now. 

I'm sharing these images in the hopes of showing every side of my recovery. It's raw, real, and unedited. The yellow color on my feet and toes is the cleaning solution used on my wounds when I go to the doctor. I am limited to sponge baths right now because the cast can't get wet.

This last picture shows two small incisions on my heel where the Achilles tendon was lengthened. 

Out of Commission Due to Surgery #6

Well, it's been eight days since I've had a fusion of the metatarsal joint of my left big toe and lengthening of my Achilles tendon. It was done on September 27, 2013. This is my sixth major surgery, not including a biopsy I had done. You can find out more about my surgeries here. I've had lots of surgeries, just never any on my feet. This is uncharted territory for me, but I am up for the challenge because I want to be able to walk again and not have to use the wheelchair as I've said in previous posts.

I'm doing pretty well. I just can't put any weight on my left foot for six weeks. The first two nights home were rough because I am used to transferring from my bed to my wheelchair with no help. Since my left leg must be elevated, my mom has had to help me more. That has been an adjustment. :) The first post-op visit with my doctor showed that my foot looked great. I usually have never taken many pictures before or after my surgeries as I have gotten older, but I thought it would be good for people to see and know what I am going through.

Here are some pictures: (click to enlarge)

My left foot is the one with the big toe entirely under my second toe. This was making me very unstable. It was just hard to move around in general and put clothes on, even with my walker right in front of me.

These next two pictures were taken right after I was brought back into my room from recovery to see my mom. I was kind of emotional as you can see. The one good thing about this surgery is I haven't experienced any of the intense vomiting that I have had with other surgeries. I also got to sleep in my on bed that night because this was an outpatient surgery - a first for me!

I will give another update next week when x-rays are taken.

I'm Blessed

You know sometimes you come across a story that just knocks you flat and puts things in perspective.

That happened to me a few weeks ago when I came across Summer's Story. I went back on her blog last night and to read about what she is dealing with, how she's often in so much pain she can't even walk, hard to access ports, and dumbfounding the medical community while raising a beautiful daughter, all I can say is wow!

 Then again this week after my mom shared Katie Dama Jaskolski's story. Please take time to watch the video about her life. It is nothing short of AMAZING! 

I have to be honest and say for the past few weeks I have been focusing more than normal on the pain in my foot. When I should have been praising God and not focusing on what I felt like, I was doing the opposite. After reading these stories, I went to bed last night saying, "I'm blessed!" Yes, I have to deal with pain and not able to do everything I want to right now. But, through it all, I'm blessed.

I don't have so much pain that I can't walk, I don't have a rare disease, my bones and joints are healthy in spite of what some may say. I'm not in the hospital. So, I'm grateful today! I make a choice to focus on the good things. What about you? 

Philippians 4:8 says, 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Living In spite of Everything

Well, I've not been absent from life. I've just been dealing with it. L.I.F.E. Living In spite oF Everything. Yep, I just made that up!  Each day as I get up, I remind myself that I will not quit. I will not give up. God's grace has gotten me too far to turn back now.

But, every day isn't easy. This past week was hard, exhilarating, exhausting, and challenging all in one. I'm done with the necessary interviews for my disability magazine. I'm going to do at least one more story, though for good measure. This has been one of the most rewarding things I've done so far, and I can't wait to share it with you!

I had to deal with sinuses and foot issues and even had to cut one of my classes short and come home, which I hated to have to do, but it was necessary. 

What I haven't shared publicly is that I am going to have to have a surgery in June, right after my college graduation because my left big toe is going up under my foot making me really unstable when standing. An internationally known surgeon is going to perform a spinal fusion on my toe to set the bones where they should be. I've had to resort to wearing tennis shoes that are 1 1/2 sizes bigger than normal to accommodate the swelling in my foot. I'm dealing with things each day, knowing that I couldn't possibly get out of bed with God's strength. I'm SO thankful for Him!

Today has been a good day! I've managed to get my school work done and slept pretty well last night. Considering some of the nights I've had recently, that is HUGE!

If you are struggling, whatever you do, don't quit. Just dig your heels in a little deeper and keep going. Things will get better. I'm going to get better! I know this for a fact. As soon as possible, I'm going to start an aggressive stretching program with a personal trainer. I'm not where I was a few years ago, and I'm certainly not where I'm going to be!

P.S. You have 9 days to enter my giveaway! 

Catch Up and Unexpected News

So many things have been going on in my life lately I haven't had time to write on my blog. I've missed it so this is going to be kind of a catch-up post. I have been very busy at my internship, and I absolutely LOVE it! I will finish editing a manuscript this week and have been sending many press releases out to colleges and various print media for the book Military Fly Moms. TV and radio stations are next on the list. By the way Military Fly Moms won the Military Writers Society of America 2012 Creative NonFiction Award! Be sure to like Miltary Fly Moms on Facebook so you can stay updated on what Linda Maloney, the fabulous author, speaker, and mother of two is doing!

In other news, after experiencing pain in my left foot for about 8 months at least (I wrote about a doctor visit here), visting an orthopedic surgeon, and having x-rays done, I finally have an answer thanks to a DIFFERENT orthopedic surgeon. I found out today that I had 3 broken toes and didn't even know it! The doctor says they're healed and aligned right. I will start physical therapy as soon as possible for the swelling that has built up. SO thankful to God for His mercy!!! I can't say enough about His grace because I certainly wouldn't have made it through these past few months filled with tests, senior seminar speech, and publication projects without Him! 

I am still having pain but listening to my body, resting, elevating my feet, etc. I guess I can no longer use the joke that I have never broken anything. It's only been done on purpose by doctors. :) 

To top of this week, I received a letter in the mail saying I am one of thirty-one students at my school nominated to be included in the 2013 edition of Who's Who Among University and Colleges! So honored! Hard work is rewarded. If you are struggling right now, don't give up!

Advocating for Another: The Spark Within

Even though school and life got in the way, I still wanted to finish the advocating for another posts.

Today's post is a letter to my [blogging] community.

After so many surgeries, I lost my spark. When I was younger, I would do anything my brother did. I wouldn't think twice about any limitations. Going to the doctor and experiencing so much pain made me cautious, uncertain about taking steps, rolling over in the bed. Simple things that I wouldn't have batted an eyelash at before. 

I didn't wake up one day and discover my spark was gone. When I had physical issues one right after the other, it began to slip away little by little. I really noticed a difference after my spinal fusion because it took me longer than most people to recover. In all honesty, though, it started the year before when I was in agony 24/7, soaking my pillow in tears because I couldn't sleep with that pain. Just waiting for daylight to shine through my window so I could take some medicine to at least dull the pain somewhat.

It happened when I would have to sit in church services with my TENS unit on 60, the highest setting, with an ice pack because my back hurt so bad.

It happened when I woke up to discover a bright red place on my hip that hurt deep inside of me. It happened because my cousin, who was young at the time, had to see me lay in the bed rather than doing fun stuff with her because I was hurting...but I didn't know why.

It happened after countless pokes from nurses taking blood tests but finding nothing wrong with me. It happened when my mom was told to take me to the ER in Atlanta, spending hours crying waiting for a doctor to see me only to hear them say they had seen nothing like it.

It happened on the way home from Atlanta, when I was throwing up on the intersection with no where to pull off. It happened when I knew something was wrong, and experiencing utter frustration when the residents on call in the hospital thought I was crazy.

It's so important that we don't let a disability or our circumstances cause us to be a shell of our former selves. I've spent a lot of time trying to get back to the person I was. I've missed the girl who was full of spunk. I've missed the girl who would take a hard fall, and jump back up with a bleeding elbow and go right back to playing outside. I've missed the girl who had a zest for life. After this weekend, I've made a conscious decision to get her back. I'll share more about that later. All I can say is "Watch out world, Madison is back!"

Best Insoles Sale!

I love sharing good things! A few months ago, I made my first purchase from Best Insoles, a fabulous website that carries insoles for different shoes among other things. Since I have a leg length discrepancy, I have to wear a heel lift in my one of my shoes. With all of my foot pain, I decided to go ahead and get a new one just to be safe. It is SO much smaller than the one I got from the guy who made my last pair of AFOs. Now I won't be so stressed when looking for shoes.

The best part is they're having a sale! They don't have a clue who I am, but I wanted to share the code with everyone I got in my email. Use the code SPORT10 for 10 percent off! They have insoles for men and women as well as things for orthopedic shoes and those who suffer from plantar fasciitis.

Little Things Can Cause Big Problems

I've been having some physical issues lately. After being in pain and the swelling in my feet not going away, I went to the doctor last Thursday to discover that I had blood bruises underneath my foot and lots of fluid from the weights that I use to physical therapy with at home. The doctor said every time I did them(which was once a week like I was told to do), the weight was slipping below my ankle and essentially bursting blood vessels and cutting off my circulation. The medicine they prescribed is getting rid of the fluid, but I am very weak and experiencing some tingling. Lots of rest is what the doctor ordered, so I'm being a good patient even though I have a million things to do.

I also had fluid building up in my stomach and didn't realize it. I thought I had just gained a few pounds, but after I started taking the medicine to get rid of the fluid and swelling in my feet, my stomach started shrinking! I am sharing this with everyone because it is so important not to ignore things going on with your body.  I'm so glad I was able to be seen quickly by my doctor and get the problem under control.

In addition, I have been plugging along on my school assignments and the April issue of Athena Magazine for Girls. Hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful day!
 

Significance of September 23

Today I woke up and got ready for school.  I sat in Bible class talking about things that we would have gotten to experience with Jesus if we were alive during his lifetime.  I didn't really think much of today until I wrote the date on my paper.  September 23, 2011.

That date probably doesn't mean anything to you, but it was the day of my second surgery, which was exactly  seven years ago.  I still remember that day vividly.  I was fourteen years old.  My new doctor informed me that if we didn't take the hardware in my hips out, one fall could cause me to need a hip replacement.  I had no idea that every fall that I had taken since the hardware had been in my body could have been a disaster.

My family woke up when it was still pitch dark outside.  Today was the day my hip was going to get straightened (again), and I wouldn't have to worry about airport scanners going off.  Now, you have to understand that I had never been to an airport, but I always try to find the humor in things.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and made myself presentable.  From the moment I woke up, September 23 was not a normal day.  I even left the house in my soft blue pajama pants and my hair in a ponytail.

"Well, I get to go to sleep for a few hours, so I guess getting up at around 4 o' clock in the morning isn't so bad." I joked with my mom.

When we got to the hospital, we got checked in and get me prepped and ready for surgery.  Family was bustling around trying to contain their nerves.  My doctor came in to go over everything, and chat a little. He was an old man with a kind and gentle face never failing to put me at ease with a gentle pat on my arm.

It was almost time.  I watched the clock tick away the minutes on the wall.  The minutes seemed to creep by so slow, so I passed the time by talking with my brother.  Tick, tock.  Tick, tock.  The rhythm of the clock on the wall almost lulled me to sleep.  Then, I remembered September 23 was a different kind of day as nurses shuffled in and out of my little corner.

One of the last things I remember was being wheeled to the operating room.  The hallway was long, and no one was around.  I was just focusing on staying calm and remembering that I wasn't alone.

Just then, Dr. Griffin, peeked his out of the OR.  "Are you ready to do this?" he asked with a smile.

"Yep," I replied.  If you were there, you would have thought I was having a casual conversation with my grandpa, not my surgeon.  

I had developed quite a relationship with Dr. Griffin over the past six years.  I was a nervous eleven year old with a knee popped out of place.  I was answering all of his questions, when suddenly, he popped it back in.  "Ow!" I yelped, half from pain and half from suprise. That's when I knew that Dr. Griffin was different.  He had a gentleness about him that most doctors lack.

So, when he asked me if I was ready, I responded without hesitation because I knew him.  I trusted him.

"Well, let's get you fixed then!" he replied confidently.

The operating table was cold and hard.  "Get her a warm blanket," Dr Griffin said to one of the nurses.   I felt like a child being tucked into sleep.  For the next several hours, I drifted off to sleepy land.  

September 23, 2004 was indeed a different day.  

A little more about me

After doing my poll a few weeks ago, I realized that a lot of you probably don't understand a lot about cerebral palsy. While some people are paralyzed and unable to communicate that is not the case with me. I'm not paralyzed. I can walk some with the help of my walker.

I've had several people come up to me in the doctor's office and ask if I had an accident. I did not have a car accident. I started having back pains at he end of my sophomore year in high school. What started out as a back ache quickly turned into something more.

After several months of trying to find a doctor that would accept my new insurance, x-rays revealed that I had a stress fracture in my lower back. The formal diagnosis was  spondylolysis. The doctors tried to treat it with two different types of braces with no improvement.  The diagnosis was then changed to spondylolisthesis. After an MRI showed that the stress fracture had gotten worse,  the doctor said surgery was my only option.

In the summer of 2007, I had back surgery. Much to everyone's suprise, my doctor discovered that my vertebrate in my back were actually broken when they were doing my operation. No wonder I was in so much pain!

After the surgery, I was feeling much better. Physical therapy was going great. About three months later, I got an infection in my hip. This is the major reason why I'm still in a wheelchair.

Anyway, I hope this clears things up for some of you. If you have any questions, just feel free to ask.  

So Grateful

My sweet little nephew Mason had to have surgery on Wednesday. It was unexpected to say the least. Ever since he was born, he would vomit almost every time he was fed. He was in and out of the doctor's office, but nothing seemed wrong...on the outside. Finally, he was coughing up blood, so they took him to the ER. Soon after, he was diagnosed with pyloric stenosis, which means he had a narrow opening to his small intestines.



This is a picture of him a little while after his surgery. Isn't his blanket adorable?

He is home and doing so much better. I went to see him yesterday, and he was sleeping peacefully as I left. All praise goes to God for taking care of my sweet little man.