Thursday, January 29, 2015

Do You Need Some Help?

Hand © Arto Myllys via

While driving to church, my mom suddenly turned the car around and said, "Whoa! A lady fell. It doesn't matter if I'm late or not, I have to go back and help her."

I was a little confused, but I saw a hint of her sweatshirt. As we got closer, she was hunched over near a stop sign. A runner ran right past her without a second thought.

A young boy was with her. My mom pulled close and said, "Do you need some help?" No response from the woman. I don't even think she moved. The boy said, "My aunt is right there."

Indeed she was, but she was still in her car and hadn't gotten to where they were. 

"Well, I will come back and see if she needs help," Mama said. So, she turned around on that little side road and waited just a minute.

By that time the boy's aunt had gotten to the woman and was getting out of her car.

"Do you need some help?" Mama asked.

The woman gave a swipe of her hand and walked towards the woman. Mama got out and went to help them. The woman was now standing, but it was obvious from the way she was walking that she was in pain. All three of them helped her into the vehicle.

Finally, the boy's aunt recognized my mom. "You're Madison's mom," she said.

"Yes," Mama replied.

The boy's aunt said the woman had some health problems. Mama was talking to her, but said she didn't really listen until she said, "I have a daughter who is in a wheelchair and she has to fight everyday."

She told me the woman started listening then. Mama said, "Don't you give up." The woman nodded her head.

I just can't get her face out of my mind. Seeing her slumped down on the sidewalk clinging to the sign reminded me of how lots of people are. You are so beaten down by life you don't even respond to offers of help. You are just there.

And in that place, many people ignore you. They don't say anything. And you stay fixed in that defeated position. 

Just when you think you are going to stay in that place forever, someone comes along and says, "Do you need some help?"

You think your mind is playing tricks on you, so you continue to sit in silence. Afraid to hope for something better.

That voice is persistent. And now, there are actually people who prove they care by doing something. People forget about the clock and where they have to be. The only thing that matters is the broken person on the sidewalk.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

My Book is Taking Shape

typewriter keys
Typewriter keys © nh313066 via free

I have been working on the book about my life for awhile now. I took several months off. A few days ago, I decided to compile all of the individual documents into one working rough draft. I was ecstatic to learn that I have almost fifty pages, and that doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of my high school and college years. Yay for progress!

Monday, December 29, 2014

Things my Nephew Says

My oldest nephew is three and he keeps me laughing. I've often posted things on my personal Facebook page, but I thought all of you could use a laugh also.

Some things he's said recently are:

"I love this wed(red) pillow.
I don't like the purple one."

This was news to me because he usually requests the purple pi-yo (pillow) anytime he climbs up to watch movies on the computer with me.

I said, "You do?"
He said, "Uh huh. It's soft." He then lays back on the pillow, puts his hands behind his head, and says, "Ah." So precious!

Today, I told him I had been walking some. He said, "Du(You) get bigger and bigger."

I said, "Really?"

"Yeah. Du are a giant in Gram's big house!"

Okay, then. I guess I am a giant. Haha!

One night, I was playing with Mason and all of a sudden, he said, "Du(You) busted du face!"

Curious as to what he meant, I asked him where. Right dere (there), he said. My mom was standing nearby, and we both just started laughing. He was talking about some acne on my face! I guess it did look like I had gotten hit. 

Kids have such a unique perspective!

Monday, December 22, 2014

You Don't Understand

Man with a megaphone 2 Bartek Ambrozik via

I understand. It's a phrase that I hear quite often. As someone who has to take it day by day, you don't understand. You don't understand what I go through.

You don't understand what it's like to be fine in the morning and be zapped of all energy by mid-afternoon.

You don't understand what it's like to be woken up out of a somewhat good night's sleep by waves of nausea that come and go.

You don't understand what it's like to feel tingling and aches sometimes all throughout the day.

You don't understand what it's like to say you're coming to an event and then have to postpone it indefinitely because you just can't go.

You don't understand what it's like not being able to play certain things with my nephews.

You don't understand what it's like to not be able to pick up my nephews.

Now, some people DO understand. Those who have helped care for someone with a chronic illness know what I am talking about to a certain extent. The majority of people don't understand, and it is incredibly frustrating to try and explain things to them.  

I am not a negative person, and I never have been. In spite of all of life's curveballs, I have made a choice to be positive. I choose joy regardless of what my body does. I don't talk about how I feel. I praise God and sing songs even when my body is screaming in protest of whatever I am trying to do. It's called fighting the good fight of faith. No one ever said life would be easy, but I do have control over how I react to things.

This is not a pity party. I just need to vent.  Unless you are in my body, you have no clue what I go through on a daily basis. Maybe instead of saying, "I understand," please think before you say this because you never will. And the thing is, I don't expect anyone to. I just expect people to be respectful and not just say things to be saying it. If you want to say something, be encouraging. I can always use that. And if you can't be encouraging, just don't say anything.