Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Can You See?

Do you believe?

Do you see what I see?

Despite the condition of this world, I believe in purity.
I believe in truth.
I believe in goodness.
Do you?

Have you become so jaded,
The life has been drained out of you?

Do you believe in a world of opportunity,
Do you think that it is as it should be?

I don't think the world sees what I see.
I see wholeness. 
I see life.
Sprouting every direction, amidst all the lies.

Some said we would never unite,
Always be separated,
I believe that can change.

I hear one voice.
I hear a roar.
Some won't be silenced,
Some come out of the cloud of shame.

I applaud you,
Look at the courage you've gained.

I believe in miracles,
I know all things are possible.

I believe in giving,
And doing what's right,
I believe in a love so deep,
It could split the world open wide.

If we could only come together,
If we could only.... see.
Looking past the outside, then we could truly believe.

Believe in better people.
No longer bound up by lies.
Getting rid of prejudice, don't you think it's time?

Examine yourself.
Why do you say the things you say?
What do you believe?
What made you this way?

Can you see it?
See what I am saying.
It won't be easy. It requires brutal honesty.

What I see is what I value,
We need a shift in perspective,
Go in a different direction.

Help me to see truth.
Help me to have vision.
Boundaries be gone.
All limits are off.

Change can only come when I quit hiding behind traditions.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Why Wait?

Why wait to do something?

Why wait to be great?
Take a step of faith.

Do something you've never done,
Go into the unknown.
There's a realm of impossibilities,
I dare you to stray from reality.

Quiet yourself,
Drown out the noise.
Instead of dreaming about change, be it!

Why do you want to do that?
I raised you to be better than that!
Who do you think you are?
What do you think you can accomplish?

What is that exactly?
What do you mean?

Stop with the questions.
Many times, they are just a hinderance.
You can be great now!

In case you don't already know, you ARE great now!
The potential in you is just lying dormant.

Don't wait for someone else to do it.
Don't wait for someone else to speak it.
Don't wait for someone else to make it.

Inspire. Motivate. Challenge.
These are words of action.

I'm not qualified.
I'm not talkative.
I don't know the right people.
I'm not from the right kind of family.
I've never done anything good in my life.

No more excuses!
Make up your mind.
I'm not going back. I'm pressing forward.
Blazing a trail.

I won't wait.
I will tell.
Things will change.

I choose to believe in myself.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

From the Heart

I hear Your whisper, I need to find my refuge in You.

I don't know what the next step is,
So many twists and turns,
My head spins

And then I remember
You are faithful,
You change not,
You carry me when I can't find the strength to rise.

Hear my cry,
I need you now.
I need your help.
Rescue me from myself.

Thoughts bombard my mind.
What will I do?
Where will I turn?

In the stillness, I am reminded of your promises.
You haven't failed me yet.
You've always provided.
I choose to trust You.

I don't have to know the answer
Just have know that You do.
You have my best interests at heart.
I will follow You.

Lead me, Lord.
Reveal Your truths.
I want to know You in all of Your glory.
I want to know the depths of your love.

I surrender.
I surrender to Your voice.
I will obey.
I will lay down my life once again.
I give You all of me.

Monday, March 23, 2015

For the Woman Who Has Lost Her Smile

woman smiling, happy
© Tammy Sanders
Why is it so hard to smile?
I've seen young women with a permanent frown.

What battle are you fighting?
Do you feel as if you are going to drown?
I guess I just wonder what happened to happiness.

Has life sucked all of your joy?
Is life really so bad that you can't look people in the eye?
Again, I ask, why is it so hard to smile?

What happened to her I wonder?
What stories would she tell?

In her youth, she was jubilant
Expectant of things to come,
Were dreams dashed?
Did she run?

Then, life got heavy.
A husband lost his job, 
A friend moved away.

The woman became silent,
A shell of herself,
Only doing what was necessary, 
Nothing more, nothing less.

It wasn't a conscious decision,
It just sort of happened,
Her legs dragged and posture drooped
And then one day, her smile left.

She steeled herself against the storm,
Ignoring the questions and prying eyes,
She carried on, she would pass this test.

So until you can smile again,
Here's what I'll do,
I can't offer you money or rainbows,
And I don't know when the sun will shine,

But I have something that will not fade 
Even on your hardest days
I give you my smile, my hope, 
My faith that it will all be okay.

Thursday, March 19, 2015


Airplane window © olemexico via freeimages.com

This is a poem about observing things around you.

As I looked out at the sky,
I saw it
A fiery orange sunset lighting up the night.

I observed it for about twenty minutes
Cars sped by,
But my eyes were fixed on the show in the sky.

Lilac covered some parts,
And a dusty blue mottled the top.

Looking to my right,
I couldn't help but notice a dividing line.

This sight wasn't covered in crimson and purples,
It was dark and quite mysterious.

The dividing line between the two sides
Was also the connector.

The dark purple line that contrasted against the orange 
Blended into to the bluish gray hue
It didn't bid a welcoming hello.

Instead, it left me searching amid the black trees
Peeking out behind the branches
It was quite a scene.

It reminded me of two people
One hot and the other cold
Showy and bold.
Quiet. Reserved, Dark.
But often, there is a connecting line holding them together

The longer I stared,
The more the scene changed,
The bright colors faded 
Changing from intense to warm

Somehow both scenes blended in the sky
Before disappearing, gone in the night 

This is what I observed on a quiet night of waiting and watching.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Giving Back to Greenville Memorial Hospital

Today I took a large donation to Greenville Memorial Hospital and the Ronald McDonald House of the Carolinas. Longtime readers will remember me mentioning them in my About Me posts. This is where everything began, so I was honored to be able to give back to them today.

Without God and the help of knowledgeable doctors and nurses, my brother and I would not be alive today. This was also another way of saying thank you to Dr. Griffin and all of those involved in my care after my surgeries related to cerebral palsy.

 A local school gave generously. I was able to buy lots of nice journals for the teens at Greenville Memorial.

I also want to thank my grandmother and Aunt Gwen for giving money so I could buy journals. My mom and I had a lot of fun shopping for them!

Several other companies agreed to donate. Each one is listed below.

 Studio Oh! sent some of their journals. These were perfect for teens because of their compact size. The pages inside had colorful drawings and inspirational quotes throughout. I loved that these journals had so many pages!

 Linda Singh, owner of Sitara Collections, was generous enough to donate a second time. These are a few of her fabric covered journals. Aren't they beautiful?

 Paperblanks blew me away! These journals were each unique and well made. Many closed with magnetic flaps. If I were buying a gift for my mom, these would be at the top of my list!

 W.S. Badger Company sent some of their all-natural lip balm. I know the teens will appreciate this often overlooked item. It was a necessity for me during my hospital stays.

 Scout Books is another generous company. They sent a wonderful selection of their various journal designs. These are perfect for doodling the hours away.

Elum Designs sent these beautiful fabric journals. I am continually in awe of what great stationery companies produce. Eye-catching designs and quality products. It doesn't get much better than that!

Last but definitely not least, Thimblepress sent a very fun package of a few of their notepads. The "Do Something Awesome" notepad and a couple of floral notepads.

When starting this journal project, I never dreamed I would meet so many great people. There really are great businesses if you search long enough. My goal has always been to put a smile on other people's faces, but each one of these companies has put a face on mine. I appreciate your generosity more than I will ever be able to convey.

I already have another donation planned tentatively for November or December!

Monday, March 09, 2015

I Saw You

I saw you cry

You didn't do it often 
You were strength personified.

Looking from the outside, people thought we had the perfect life
Playing and laughing
No one saw the misery
No one saw that you couldn't break free.

You tried to break the chains
But each time, they pulled you back
Held you tighter

Choking your joy
Silencing your voice
You wondered should you even try anymore?

Day after day, you hid the shame
Grocery shopping, cooking dinner
You knew the routine

But inside, your heart was shattered
With every word, every fight
Pieces of you broke more

What choice do I have?
Will I survive?
Am I really strong enough?

I wanna get away from here
Start fresh
Leave all the chaos behind

What is holding me here?
A covenant?
Who am I kidding?
It takes two to make things work.

I have to break free
Lies, curses
I feel as if I am going to burst.

Nothing I do is good enough
If I utter one word, life takes a wicked turn
Mocking me
Pressuring me
I can't live like this anymore.

Walking on glass
Treading ever so lightly.

I am by myself
Will I ever escape?
I wish I could start over
I long for better days

Rescue me from this pit
Yes, I know my choices resulted in this
Save me from this mess
I need a lifeline
Does anyone care?

I am broken
But am I beyond repair?

Can I hope again?
Can I dream?

My mind is so clouded by the trickery
I have to go on
I can't stop here
I know there's something better on the other side
My breakthrough is near.

I saw you stand and fight
No excuses, not this time

I saw you take back your life
Even when you fell you got up
Moving forward 
You didn't know what you would find, you just knew you had to go

I saw you as more than your failures
I saw your heart
Your strength was there from the start

Even though it was buried 
By years of fear and ridicule
You are more than what they said about you

Wednesday, March 04, 2015

You are the Reason

If you wonder why I smile

Puzzled as to why I laugh
Confused about the source of my joy
And why I never look back

You are the reason
None compare to you
You are my confidant, I am found in You

I once was lost
Couldn't find my way
Jaded by life, 
Questioning everything

Down on my luck
With nowhere to turn
Had to quit hiding
And face life head on

You are the reason for my strength
With you, I can do anything
Go anywhere

You are my light
It comes from within
Every day gets a little brighter
I didn't know that was possible

You make me desire more
Pressing past my feelings
And all I thought was right
I need You

You make everything beautiful
No more doubt
No more fear
You are the reason I live

Monday, March 02, 2015

Things my Nephew Says 2

My nephew, Mason, had brought a tape measure for me to strap up a big truck. This is the conversation that followed.

"Now let it go so it can snap back."
As I let it go, it didn't snap back. "I don't think this one will snap back," I said. "You have to just feed it back in like this."

Mason said, "I can do it."

I let go and let him do it. He started pushing it back in.
"There you go!" I said.
"No, don't talk! Du(You) make me lose the power to do it."
"Okay," I said.

He came into my room wearing a hat my brother had gotten several years ago at Mardi Gras. It is covered gold, yellow, and purple glitter with a green feather on the top.

Earlier today he said, "Ding!" while holding the big gold ball that's attached to the green feather.
"Why is the bell not dinging," he asked.
"Because it's not really a bell."

Wearing the hat again, he said, "I have a cowboy hat, a belt, but I missing sumpin' (something)!"

"I need some boots on!"

One day, I turned on Smokey and the Bandit. It's a hilarious movie about truck drivers and other characters who do crazy stuff and the law spends all their time trying to catch them. Since Mason's daddy drives a transfer truck, my mom thought he would like it.

In between watching YouTube videos about monster trucks and mud holes, he watched some of Smokey and the Bandit.

In one scene, several of the transfer truck drivers agreed to park side by side to form a bridge that the cars could race over. 

Later that day, Mason brought his transfer trucks over to my chair in the living room.

"Hold it teady (steady) while I dit(get) ano-der(another) truck."
He brought over a big monster truck saying, "Now, trap(strap) it on so it won't fall off." His daddy has to strap on each load before he heads out.

"It's not balanced yet, baby. We need some more trucks," I said.
"Hold it teady (steady).
"Got it."

He came back with a smaller die-cast transfer truck. "This will balance it!" he said.

To my amazement it worked. But Mason wasn't done.

"Let me go get another truck!" 

And so, we tried to balance a monster truck, a die cast transfer truck, and a heavy trailer on top of the big transfer truck trailer. By the end, my arms were sore, but Mason was satisfied with what he'd accomplished.

Just sharing some great memories from life with a toddler! Mason has such a great imagination!