Pondering

I have a confession to make. I don't think I've ever quite adjusted to being out of college. There was always something that needed to be done, some deadline to meet.

I think I have been stuck in a season. Don't get me wrong. I have work to do. I feel like I stay busy and I have never really mastered the art of just being.

Being okay with myself and where I am at physically.
Being okay with free time - I feel like I am lazy if I spend too much time on the computer or watching movies.

During this season - right here, right now I feel like God is telling me, "It's okay to have ONE goal. I want you to pour all of yourself into getting out the wheelchair. Stop feeling like you've missed an opportunity because you haven't done anything with your magazine. Don't get your worth out of things you DO. Realize that I love you for you even when you don't."

I'm realizing my worth isn't tied to who is or isn't around me.
My worth isn't in a job description.
My worth isn't determined by my imperfections.
My worth isn't tied to my writing.

I am more than my gifts. I guess I just haven't figured out who Madison is underneath all that. So many people put labels on you, but I am taking time to really ponder on who God says I am.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am loved.
I am redeemed.
I am forgiven.

Perhaps the simplest but most powerful truth of all: I am a child of God. I belong to Him when I don't fit in anywhere else. He has a plan even when I can't see it. He's working behind the scenes when I don't see anything happening or feel like it's not fast enough.