I Will Not Be Moved

I'm tired. Tired of the struggle day after day. I feel like I'm in the in between space of growth and everything that led me to this point.


I wish I was never in the wheelchair. Getting out of it for good is one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I am determined to do it. Even if that means crying while doing my exercises. 
I haven't given up, but I am tired. I need God's breath to breathe on me again. 


This isn't meant to be a depressing post, but just an honest account of where I'm at.
To win the mental battle, I have to constantly celebrate the small victories. Just the other day, I walked 7 times instead of 6 in my hallway at home.


I'm challenging myself to do more and go further. I told my mom, "It seems like I have such a long way to go to get to where I want to be." She always reminds me, "Look at how long you were down for." I was bedridden 2-3 years, but I've been in the wheelchair for almost 14 years.


I just have to steel my shoulders and plant my feet firmly on the ground. I refuse to be moved by how I feel. I refuse to be moved by what I see. 


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