Thursday, July 29, 2010

Letting my Wall Down

Most people put their real names at the end of their blog post without a second thought. It hasn't been so easy for me. I created this blog when I was sixteen, but I took a long leave of absence when my health declined.

I didn't think I could write about the pain I was feeling because I didn't fully comprehend everything myself. No one wants to read horribly depressing posts, so I didn't write. I also didn't want a reminder of those years because they are forever etched in my memory. Reading my thoughts and feelings would almost be too much.

Since I was young, I was also naive and cautious. I knew that people could take advantage of me if I put too much information on my blog. Being a blogger is all about finding that balance. How much should I keep to myself and how much should I share? I created the user name writing4612 so that I could write without worry of stalkers.

I'm older now and more mature. After much prayer and weighing the pros and cons, I've decided to share my name. Well, my first name. I don't have to hide behind a name that leaves people wondering who I am. I am me. I will still be the same person, you'll just know my name. Strangely, I'm OK with that.

My name is Madison. It's so freeing to type that. As I've said before, a name is personal. When something/someone has a name, you can't pretend they don't exist. From now on, every comment I leave will have my real name. I know it will take some getting used to since I have used writing4612 for so long. During these four years, I've been through many ups and downs, but it's time that I shed that user name.

I've shared some things about myself today. Now, it's your turn! Share one thing about yourself in the comments.


Emma's Mom said...

Its very nice to meet you Madison =). I'm Barbara. You may or may not already know that. I too write/have written using a pen name, but not because I was fearful of someone knowing who I was or knowing too much about me, but because, when I entered the blogosphere, I thought there were rules that everyone had to follow. If you were X then you had to write like X and that was it. You had to have an audience and most importantly, you had to write things that audience would want to read, or they'd leave you or judge you or criticize your life.

Well... as you pointed out, time often produces growth and maturity, and in the two years that I've been blogging, I learned that there really are no set rules, especially when writing is your therapy. So, now I'm stepping out of that comfort zone and embracing the fact that there are things bottled up within myself that I NEED to express, and accepting the fact that, through expression comes healing =).

I hope that this blog continues to help you shed the things that you no longer want weighing you down Miss Madison.

mayshedream said...

hey hun! fantastic lo i have tagged you for a question and answer game... visit my blog for the questions :)