Sunday, January 03, 2010

This Road

Image Credit: Simple Field Path ©Andreas Krappweis
2010. I look back on 2009 as a survivor. God alone has pulled me through some dismal times and celebrated some great ones. 2010 isn't just a new year because everyone says it is, I feel it, I know it. Someone can try to convince you of something all day long, but unless you know it, it has no meaning for you.

I have some decisions to make concerning the next medical step for me. I'm being wise and researching things before I make a decision. I asked Mama when they put my brother and I on the ventilator did she have to do it regardless if she was scared, and she said yes. I guess that I will have to jump in head first as they say. Notice I didn't say jump alone because I'm not alone.

I feel the weight of this decision at night. I'm heavily weighing the benefits vs. the risks. This road isn't easy, it's not scattered with rose petals. It's littered with jagged rocks and the footprints of the ones who have gone before me. I'm not always perky. There are days when I'm alone with just God and His promises hidden deep within my heart.

I finally admitted to myself that I may have to do it regardless of what I feel. I am having some relief from the new medicine, so I'm hesitant to try something else when this may work.

Every year, my church does an annual time of prayer and fasting. I won't be commenting any blog until mid February. I am in the process of getting things in order for the weekly Memories Rewind and Writer's Alcove posts. These will be posted as usual, they will just be scheduled. Just like a car, I need time to recharge my batteries. God is so much more important than my computer time.


BK said...

I will be praying with you as you make this decision. I'll also miss your comments but understand!

boo.mama said...

Will be thinking about you and your upcoming decisions.

tam7777 said...

You have the wisdom of God --you will know the answer as you seek God for yourself and learn to trust in him.