He gave the illustration of a fruit tree. We all know every tree starts out as a seed. He said, "Your seed is the idea or ideas that just won't go away."
I've had two seeds burning in me for many years. Writing a book about my life and taking my magazine I developed in college and turning it into a business.
Some questions I've asked myself today are:
What kind of fruit am I offering to others right now?
What kind of fruit COULD I be offering?
You see I don't want to die with potential left inside me. I don't want my gifts to go unused. I don't want to work just to have something to do. I know I was made for more.
My biggest competition isn't with other people or even their ideas. My biggest competition is myself. I have got to start believing in me and who God created me to be.
A few weeks ago, I was feeling very awkward because no one sat at my table AGAIN. This has happened throughout my life. I don't know why. Someone once told me I was like a magnet: I either draw people to me or I repel them.
These people didn't know me and yet they still stayed away. I didn't understand. I cried about it some until God asked me one question. He said, "Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out?"
Okay, okay! I get it. I'm going to be me regardless if I'm surrounded by throngs of people or none at all.
Others have told my mom, "There's so much in Madison." Maybe I don't see it. I've always had a yearning for something deeper.
Maybe I'm not bearing the "fruit" people need because I'm afraid of failing. I've had a fear that I wouldn't be able to reproduce my magazine as good as I did the first time. I had tried before and no one was interested in being featured, but maybe now is the time. Maybe this is MY season. I'll never know until I take that first step. I told God tonight April 30, 2019 that I am not praying for success. I am praying for the grace to be obedient.
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