Freewriting Day 9: Coming Home

To the ones who are dirty. Those who think they are out of reach of grace. They don't even try to hide what they have done. What's the use? It echoes in their mind, over and over. I am wretched. I don't deserve anything but pain.

Beat me. Whip me. Spit in my face. I deserve it. I won't turn away. Nothing you could do to me could be worse than the pain I carry every day.

You might see me in public and flinch. I don't want to be near him. I can't stand the sight of him. Is he human or just a pile of trash?

I am here. I am breathing. But I feel invisible. Scratch that. I wish I was invisible. I no longer feel my heart beating. It is just a faint thud. The pain of this life has consumed me.

I want to be rid of this weight. I am tired of living this way. It's the same routine day in and day out. I put on layers and layers hoping I can live. I am miserable this way.

I want to shed the guilt. I am tired of the shame. I want to let the healing balm touch me, but I am scared.

I have sat at this place long enough. I want to be free. I know it starts with the first step. I've made up my mind. I am going back to Father's House.

Nothing could have prepared me for the joy that flooded my soul. In my filthy rags, I felt unworthy. But from that first glance as I dared to look up, it was evident that I never stopped being His son.

No longer trudging forward in fear, I ran forward at a breakneck speed. I had a date with my destiny!

I was home. I am free. What are you waiting for? I know I am not the only one who has gone astray.

Love washed over me in ways that I never expected. No words were needed, but through the tears, Father whispered, "I've been waiting."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Freewriting Day 19: Tangled Web

Just a reminder. Freewriting is when you just write. There is no set way to do it. This DOES NOT mean that my writing is free to be taken by others. I want to make that clear. Oh, what a tangled web we weave That was a Shakespeare tragedy Now it is your reality. All of the lies and cover ups Have buried you Gone are the comforts you had grown accustomed to Why did you push that boundary? Why did you cross that line? Did you really think "I can get by with it this time?" What happened to you? What kind of sick, twisted fantasy did you have? So many questions left hanging in the air. Do you even know yourself? Maybe you stopped caring, Maybe you felt alone. I hope that cheap thrill was worth it because now you are caught. You can't run away. You can't escape the stares. Worst of all, you can't escape yourself. I know you are probably replaying every scene, Wishing and hoping it's all a bad dream. Sadly, t
Read more

Advocating for Another: Inside the Fishbowl

Image
Since I talked about my community and some things that make me and my readers unique yesterday, I thought I would branch out and do one of the bonus prompts, which says to tell what my life is like to someone looking on the outside then describe it from the inside. On the outside, I look like a stylish young woman busy attending college classes and helping out at my church all while in a wheelchair. Some people have mistakenly thought I have an easy life because I have people helping me do things, get a little extra time to do tasks, and so on. From the inside, they would see a slightly different picture. My hair looks so good because my mom helps me dry it and style it. I have a beside commode because I'm not quite strong enough --yet--  to walk to the bathroom and sit down without help. They would also see I have to get up about thirty minutes to an hour before I have somewhere to be in order to get ready because it takes me a little longer to do things. They wo
Read more

Memories Rewind: Playhouse Parties

 Something's up with the spacing today. I was over a C's house for a sleepover filled with laughs, mischief, and games. We still had a few daylight hours to burn, and we just couldn't waste away a beautiful day in the house. " Whatcha wanna do?" C asked. I spotted the bright pink doll house out of the corner of my eye. Let's play house! We arranged the miniature table and chairs just so. The table cloth was laid aside because this was a casual affair. Mr. Teddy and all of C's dollies were anticipating the fabulous feast put on by the two princesses. "What shall we make?" we pondered. It had to be special. Mud pies were a favorite of the furry forest animals. I scooped up mounds of mud as C poured the water in. We were quite the team, so before we knew it, those mud pies had a date with a hot oven. Water and lemonade were waiting to quench the thirsts of the animals. Sticks were used in place of forks. We didn't want to lose an eye
Read more