Tears on My Napkin

© Tammy Sanders

Today, I saw your face. 

I have many times before, but this time your face was crystal clear to me. 

I could see all of the hurt. The weariness in your eyes. 

I could tell you are tired of fighting.

Tired of fighting with yourself.

Tired of believing the lies you've been told.

Over and over, they weigh you down.

You lose your tall stature. Your vision. Your hopes. Your dreams.

Even though you were not in my presence, I prayed for you.

I prayed you would let down those walls you have built,

I prayed you would let love in.

I know it's hard to trust.

The pain must be a heavy burden to bear.

But, today I prayed that you would see what God sees in you.

That you would see what I see.

The truth is you are a leader. You have so much to give.

You will overcome. One day, you will be able to forgive.

As I prayed, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

I found a napkin tucked into my book.

I gently dabbed my eyes as the tears fell, and then I looked.

The napkin was no longer pristine and pressed.

It was wrinkled and indented from the tears of my prayer.

So, though I am not with you,

I hope one day you know my prayers carried you.

The napkin is a reminder that someone cares. 

As I prayed for you, I was reminded of words I said.

I prayed for forgiveness for those hurtful words.

I should have been encouraging. I should have lifted you up.

I didn't do that then. But I let go of my own hurt.

I saw my own wretchedness.

As you go on your way, I pray God's arms surround you,

I pray His light gets brighter no matter the chaos.

Remember, He is waiting. He's only one prayer away, my friend.