Madison Sanders Writes

For a long time, I was not comfortable in my skin. I was too tall, too thin, I just did not fit in. One day, I told a close friend that I was ugly, She said, "I better never hear you say that again." When I got sick, the feeling was compounded. My smile never left, but the fire inside of me was quenched. I didn't look healthy. I was frail and thin because of health issues. But the thing that I had to fight the most wasn't my body, it was the thoughts within. Would the agony ever end? Since that day, I have been on a journey to love myself in my skin. Not changing with every fad, Not wearing much makeup. I prefer cardigans and tanks to mini dresses. I have never wanted to be the center of attention. I finally love me for me, In spite of what I've said and done. Now when I look at myself in the mirror, I am content. I know I will never be like the images in magazines. That's okay. I am imperfectly me.

Stephanie on Bench © Jamie Hack via freeimages.com While talking to my mom last night I said, "I must scare people." I said this because all throughout my life, people will get close to me, and then disappear. One instance happened a few months ago. Someone who knows me would talk to me occasionally and reach out through social media. This person came and saw me at home. I wasn't having a good day physically, so I was in bed. This person's jaw was slightly open upon seeing me. Yes, this is my reality. Cerebral palsy causes muscle tightness and pain that is worse on some days. I was smiling, but I could tell they were unsure of what to say next.  I think this person - and most people who know me - are shocked because I don't post about everything I go through on social media. I don't "check in" to my doctor's offices every time I have an appointment. I am a private person. I think if you really want to know how I am doing, you will ask.

As I was praying, these words were flowing out of my heart. Forgive me, oh God, for the times I have been rude and unmannerly. Forgive me, oh God, for the times I have insisted on my own right and my own way. Forgive me for not bearing up under anything and everything that comes. Forgive me for not walking in love. I know that you never fail, Lord. But I have failed you so many times. Help me. Help me to decrease so that You can increase. My life is nothing without You in it. Help us, oh God, to get our eyes off ourselves and to realize we were created for a bigger purpose. We were created to serve You. We were created to come alongside You. Amen. Sometimes, it is so disheartening to live in the Earth today. I see more and more people turning away from God and doing things that please them. We are so arrogant it is sickening. When talking with my mom this week, I told her, "Sometimes, I don't even want to live on the Earth anymore." Don't

With spring comes new life, Old things die off. The grass is green and the flowers bloom, But I may not share my peaches with you. Peaches and me go way back. Down on a country road, They were lined up in rows. Mama pruned and plucked, Leaving only the best branches. After waiting, those glorious peaches  Delighted my soul. So when we moved, And had to leave them behind, I was mad! No more peach ice cream, Freshly churned. We didn't eat the store bought stuff, no sir! Years passed and our yard was bare. No fruit trees laden with buds. No promise of brighter days. But, one day, Mama planted some new peach trees! Our summers were filled with the sweet aroma. My stomach was content once more. Suddenly, Mama looked outside. One day, the peach tree didn't thrive. A hole was in the trunk, so black. So dark. If you pressed on it, the trunk creaked under the pressure. The roots were visible from the surface, no l

I came up with the bare bones of this song when I was going through an unexpected, inexplicable medical issue.  This was even before I changed my blog name to Making my Mark.  These were just thoughts in my head, dreams in my heart, and looking for hope in my future that I needed to record.  Legacy - written on September 10, 2010 I know where I’m going might be uncharted territory But I also know that’s what makes it exciting I don’t wanna put myself in a box, I don’t wanna be ordinary cookie-cutter I wanna be extraordinary CHORUS ‘Cause of every moment of my life I wanna make my mark On this world leave a legacy So people remember me Things get bad; they’ll get better When things tough, just get tougher We overcome by the blood of the Lamb Together we can…. Make our mark on this world Leave a legacy So people remember us

I am no stranger to adversity, and I know many of you are not either. This thought came to mind the other day, and it is still lingering. "You've already come through much worse than you are going through now. You have survived!" Maybe someone reading this needs that reminder. You have survived some tough things. Whatever is happening in your life right now, know that God's got this! He is holding you in the palm of His hand. His Word says that He will never leave or forsake you. Even during some of my most challenging health issues, I can look back and say that God was there. Did it feel like it? No! He was there in words of encouragement from my mom. He was there in support from my family. He was there even when I thought I was alone. I couldn't see Him with my eyes, but He was evident in the little things. A laugh. An attempt at a joke to make me forget about the pain. A song. A phone call. I can't call each one of you on the phone, so t