Missing my Granddaddy

I'm sitting in the computer lab thinking about my granddaddy.  It's been two months since he died, and I still miss him.


Today I'm thinking about him as I prepare to take a quiz in history.  He always loved watching shows about how things were made.  "What are you learning about now, Madison?" he'd ask enthusiastically as he leaned up in his chair to hear me better.  We'd talk a lot about what I was learning.  I loved those times because he'd get the biggest grin on his face.


I  think about him at night, missing his random phone calls to ask me about my day.


I think about him when Mason comes over, knowing he would be laughing at how big he's gotten.


I can still hear him saying, "How's my sweet granddaughter doing today?" in a gruffly voice.


Every night as I wash my face before bed, I remember all the times he used to hold the wash cloth under the sink for a few extra seconds, making sure it was good and warm for me.  I always hold the wash cloth to my face a few extra seconds now, thinking of my granddaddy.


Even though I can't share these things with him today, I know he's in a much better place.  He may be doing a jig up in Heaven right now. :)

Significance of September 23

Today I woke up and got ready for school.  I sat in Bible class talking about things that we would have gotten to experience with Jesus if we were alive during his lifetime.  I didn't really think much of today until I wrote the date on my paper.  September 23, 2011.

That date probably doesn't mean anything to you, but it was the day of my second surgery, which was exactly  seven years ago.  I still remember that day vividly.  I was fourteen years old.  My new doctor informed me that if we didn't take the hardware in my hips out, one fall could cause me to need a hip replacement.  I had no idea that every fall that I had taken since the hardware had been in my body could have been a disaster.

My family woke up when it was still pitch dark outside.  Today was the day my hip was going to get straightened (again), and I wouldn't have to worry about airport scanners going off.  Now, you have to understand that I had never been to an airport, but I always try to find the humor in things.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and made myself presentable.  From the moment I woke up, September 23 was not a normal day.  I even left the house in my soft blue pajama pants and my hair in a ponytail.

"Well, I get to go to sleep for a few hours, so I guess getting up at around 4 o' clock in the morning isn't so bad." I joked with my mom.

When we got to the hospital, we got checked in and get me prepped and ready for surgery.  Family was bustling around trying to contain their nerves.  My doctor came in to go over everything, and chat a little. He was an old man with a kind and gentle face never failing to put me at ease with a gentle pat on my arm.

It was almost time.  I watched the clock tick away the minutes on the wall.  The minutes seemed to creep by so slow, so I passed the time by talking with my brother.  Tick, tock.  Tick, tock.  The rhythm of the clock on the wall almost lulled me to sleep.  Then, I remembered September 23 was a different kind of day as nurses shuffled in and out of my little corner.

One of the last things I remember was being wheeled to the operating room.  The hallway was long, and no one was around.  I was just focusing on staying calm and remembering that I wasn't alone.

Just then, Dr. Griffin, peeked his out of the OR.  "Are you ready to do this?" he asked with a smile.

"Yep," I replied.  If you were there, you would have thought I was having a casual conversation with my grandpa, not my surgeon.  

I had developed quite a relationship with Dr. Griffin over the past six years.  I was a nervous eleven year old with a knee popped out of place.  I was answering all of his questions, when suddenly, he popped it back in.  "Ow!" I yelped, half from pain and half from suprise. That's when I knew that Dr. Griffin was different.  He had a gentleness about him that most doctors lack.

So, when he asked me if I was ready, I responded without hesitation because I knew him.  I trusted him.

"Well, let's get you fixed then!" he replied confidently.

The operating table was cold and hard.  "Get her a warm blanket," Dr Griffin said to one of the nurses.   I felt like a child being tucked into sleep.  For the next several hours, I drifted off to sleepy land.  

September 23, 2004 was indeed a different day.  

Breaking the Silence

These past weeks have been rough emotionally.  I usually don't write about this kind of stuff here, but I thought it may help someone. Let me just say this before I go any farther. People have this idea that admitting they have hard days is a sign of weakness. That is a sign you are human!   

I have just been in a slump where my personal writing is concerned. Satan comes to all of us telling us lies, and he has been talking to me a lot lately. For instance, he has been telling me that I don't have anything of value to say. This blog doesn't matter. You know how it is. He bombards your mind with lies so you will be quiet.

Needless to say, it has affected me. I'm guilty of  letting Satan slip in and silence me. I've found myself feeling down about things, but that is changing now.  When I realized what had happened, I immediately opened up a post and started to write. Instead of being quiet, I'm going to continue writing.  I'm going to continue sharing what God does for me. 

In the Quiet Time

This is a poem I wrote during my church's seeking time.  It's a time we set aside to pray and seek God with other believers.   

In the quiet time, I sit alone;

The familiar whirring of the computer is all I hear.
I am alone with my thoughts, or so it seems.
I feel a tugging in my heart; He is calling me.

In the quiet time, God speaks.

I am able to listen, soaking in His awesome presence
I am only one person, yet the Alpha and Omega talks with me.

 In the quiet time, I am reassured.

He gives me a clearer vision of the path I’m on.
As I see more, I’m overcome with peace.
Jehovah Jireh is all I need.

In the quiet time, I realize even more it’s not about me.

There are people wandering in darkness, unable to see.
God nudges me to pray for them.
I say, “Lord, let Your light shine through the shadows that hide their destiny.”
I stand in awe of The Great I Am because He continually uses me.

Name that Photo Contest!

It's been a few days since I've posted.  I've been super busy with papers and projects for school!  I have a test in History tomorrow, but I couldn't resist sharing a cute photo my mom took of my nephew today.  He is 4 months old today!  He is the happiest baby and I'm so glad I get the chance to love on him!

This photo is just begging for a caption, don't you think?  So c'mon! Give it your best shot!  I will pick a winner and they will get a book from me. :) 

Making my Mark: Voice Among Chaos

Awhile back, someone came to my blog searching for poems about making their mark. I thought that was a fantastic idea, so here is my first one. I may make this a series.  Who knows? :)

When I was a girl, I struggled to know what my place was in this big world

I got more questions than answers; my head felt as if it would twirl

What could I do, what could I say 

That would leave a mark on the world to stay?

As I got older, I found my way

It was full of twists and turns and even a few stumbles

The good thing was I had found my voice

I didn't even mumble!

I didn't shout nor did I scream

I just did what came naturally

I looked for ways to help those in need

My oh my, how their faces beamed!

So whether you are young or old

Don't tuck this poem away in an old dusty drawer

Let it touch you to the very core

Get our your pen or use your voice.  It doesn't matter just be bold!

Thanks for Visiting!

Since I have had some new visitors in the past few weeks, I wanted to take this time to welcome them.  I'm so glad you decided to stop by my little corner on the Internet!  Feel free to look through some of my old posts.  In case you don't know, you can subscribe to my post by typing in your email address into the subscribe box on my right sidebar.  This ensures you never miss a post! :)

I also have a FacebOok page this blog.  Click here to visit my page.  I will share things about my day, upcoming blog posts, and ask questions.  Basically, it's a community for all who love Making my Mark.  I would love to see you over there as well!

Hope everyone had a fabulous Labor Day weekend!  I caught up on some much needed sleep and went to Olive Garden with my mama.

The Best Day of Your Life

Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever! There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did I’m going to celebrate!

Today, I’m going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far:
the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.

I will go through this day with my head held high, and a happy heart. I will marvel at God’s seemingly simple gifts: the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds.

Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice.

Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I’ll make someone smile. I’ll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don’t even know.

Today, I’ll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I’ll tell a child how special he is, and I’ll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for them and how much they mean to me.

Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don’t have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things God has already given me. I’ll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in God and his Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine.

Tonight, before I go to bed, I’ll go outside and raise my eyes to the heavens. I will stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon, and I will praise God for these magnificent treasures.

As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, I will thank Him for the best day of my life.And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going to be…..the best day of my life!

~Author Unkown

I found this awhile back because it echoes the thoughts of my heart so perfectly, it seems like I could have written it myself. I never want to forget that this life is a gift! 

If They Only Knew

Note: I actually wrote this months ago, but debated about posting it.  I hope it helps someone else.

Tears streamed down her face as she thought of what just happened.

In trying to be a good friend, she got burned. Her heart was breaking because there was nothing left to do. Her help wasn't wanted, so she was no longer going to be there.

Matthew 5:38-40 says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well."

In other words, you are supposed to turn the other cheek and forgive them. I don't know about you, but that is hard for me because I have to be willing to be hurt again.

It hurts to be misunderstood. It is a pain of knowing that the person that needs help is within arm's reach yet you can't get to them. They are blinded by voices of doubt and fear. Unfortunately, I can only be pulled so much. As hard as it will be, I have to let this person go their own way. I've walked my walk, and now they have to walk theirs. I will still be praying for this person, but they have made a choice. I'm not someone who will overstep my bounds.

In my haze of confusion, I know that God is still God. Just like the father waiting on the prodigal son, I'll be here waiting when they are ready. Relationships are hard and require comprise, patience, and understanding. If they could only see things from my perspective, it would be different.

The Celebration

I haven't officially announced that I'm writing for my church's weekly publication called The Celebration, so I wanted to take time to do that. We have a team that puts together The Celebration for our church and whomever else may want one.  What you may be interested in is The Celebration blog.

The Celebration blog features things that the team members have written, including myself.  It's a good place to stop by for encouragement, challenge your thinking, and a laugh or two.