As Destiny's Child played out in the background, I began to think about all I had been through.
I could definitely relate. When I was at my sickest, I stopped putting on my jewelry. Just getting out of bed was an accomplishment! I was just surviving.
Everything was stripped away. No more pretending that everything was OK. No more plastering on the fake smile. My mom knew what a battle I was in, but to the outside world, nothing had changed. Everyday I was faced with the choice of curling up back in bed and drowning in my pain, but I made the choice to keep going. Many people have said that I could quit if I wanted to because I have good reasons, but really I can't. I don't have a choice because God reminds usin Philippians that we have to keep pressing toward that mark. If I quit, that would give the enemy all the ammunition he needs to utterly destroy me. I can't let that happen. As the song says, I've come to far to give up now. I'm too close to victory. Too close to a new beginning. In the grand scheme of things, a few bad days or weeks of pain don't even compare to Jesus' mutilated body and the hours of torture He endured.
Each day I put one foot in front of the other, last night's pain becomes a distant memory. When you make that decision to not let pain dictate how you live your life, God's grace kicks in. Trust me, even when things are hard(and they will be some days), God's immeasurable grace will be there. I like to think of it as my invisible safety net. It's there as a cushion when the day seems too hard or too long.
What's something you've survived?