True Colors

Looking through a kaliedoscope © Barbara Bar 

Have you ever thought you reached a mutual understanding with someone only to realize you couldn't be more wrong?

That happened to me recently, but I waited to post it because I wanted to be sure I crafted my words with care. Someone I know had made some subtly rude remarks about disabled people a few years ago. I wrote them an email, and they thanked me for telling things from my perspective. I forgave them and moved on.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. A friend of this person said they believed in helping disabled people. I couldn't believe it. It saddened me to think a friend who thought they knew what this person stood for didn't really know them at all.

How can you judge someone [for their limitations]* when you are in a box yourself? I'm talking about a box that dictates what you say and to whom you say it. Be real with those around you. Don't put up a facade to impress people because your true self will eventually come to light.

It was almost as if I had been punched in the stomach as I read those words. You can't say you help disabled people when you don't even take the time to talk with them. Helping the disabled isn't about treating them like they are less than than human. You have to sit down and be willing to hear their story. Yes, this means making yourself vulnerable. Someone who truly listens is so rare these days.

*I don't really think of disabled people having limitations. Society does because they don't know what to do with people who don't fit into their mold of what normal people do. In my opinion, disabled people challenge others to think outside the box. How else would wheelchairs that can climb stairs be bulit? Yes, they do have an attachment that's made so wheelchairs can go up and down steps. Here's the link for those of you who are interested.